Getting divorced is hard on everyone, especially kids

On behalf of Law Offices of Kathleen G. Alvarado posted in blog on Monday, February 12, 2018.

Arriving at the decision to get divorced is a long road filled with deep valleys and skyscraping peaks. Amongst all of the emotions you as a parent are feeling, your children are observing and experiencing the highs and lows as well. Children can place the blame on themselves and you want to reassure them that this decision is made between the parents.

Be honest with them

Letting your children see your sadness is all right. You are human and by sharing your emotions openly, you will encourage your children to do the same. Tell your children that neither parent will stop loving them, no matter the circumstances.

Maintain your child’s routine

Changing schools, moving homes and making new friends can be just as traumatic for children as hearing their parents will no longer be living together. Keep your children in the same activities and have them meet with the same friends. Maintaining some elements as a constant in their lives helps children to adjust to new changes in their life. Reach out to teachers, babysitters and friends’ parents to let them know what is going on. Asking them to be on the look-out for odd behavior will help you stay in touch with how your child is processing.

Know when you need to ask for help

Opening up a dialogue with your children about divorce is no easy task. All children need their own time and space to understand everything that has happened and how the changes have affected them. After the initial conversation, your children will need additional emotional support as well as attention. If you feel like your child is having a hard time coping, a family therapist can help. Often they will work with you, your spouse and the children to help facilitate a positive environment to work through issues.

Divorce can seem like the end of the world for a child and it is crucial as a parent to guide them. Being conscious of your actions and words around the kids is the best way to show them a divorce can be a new beginning.